One of those has told you before that I haven’t seen a single smile on the kid’s face. It is not something that has to bother any one. With all this dead floating in his parlour, he will become a little more solid. He misses you.

   I know you don’t mind anymore about him. I don’t blame you. There is nothing interesting in this place. When you where here, even I use to feel better. There was not much distance inside the chess board between my king and your queen. I always knew that your obsession to repeat a game you memorized was a perfect method to pull yourself out of the pathetic way of life they all follow. They repeat mistakes on life, Alessa; you, only on the chess board. They don’t know, but your life changes every day. They are always falling in the same pit.

   You are not returning to this place, nevermore. I’m sure that any place you are looking for is a really new place. You are not repeating mistakes, Alessa. That I’m sure.

   All people follows the same patterns. You follow the same moves: the pawn of the queen, forth square; you expect me to do the same move; you concentrate al your pieces attacking the forth square of the king; you expect me to do the same moves the black player did a hundred years ago, if I fail, you’ll continue the game by your own judgment. And it was common to see disappointment in your eyes when my move was out of the schedule, and I can still smell the sadness flowing from your skin.

   You are gone.

    Nothing is left for us but your memory.

    The smell of your body in a rotten bed.            

I thought

I thought it was her who was groping down stairs
With nothing but a rag over her shoulders
I thought of her moistly shining softened skin
Moving upon a slippery bloodstained ground

I started to stagger strangely on my thoughts
Like stumbling down a dark passage while eyeless
On my dry lips the taste of a rotten loaf
On my tongue the rest of a pitcher with blood

I thought it was her who was groping down stairs
Then she broke a part of the wall from the vault
Shining a smile that contained voiceless words

As she walked through the light before vanishing
I thought it was her who was groping down stairs

Then I saw nothing
but a rag
on the moistly shinning softened skin
of my shoulders

Still drifting my paces through this misty dawn;
Still there, like a perpetual headlight for me,
Guiding my fears to my empty cage
Shedding my tears yet to have a trace,
For my long lost laughter loves longing like high Lune
And the tears that rain the shade
Hide the hollow hearse
Containing, in empty air, my smile.

I’ve lost the ground of men
And floating in this sharpened sky
My nailed pierced skin searches for sleep,
Yearning for the warm caress that,
Peering in silence to the ground,
Waits impatient for the bless of my detachment
Why not to die tonight?

Me and myself

Where am I?
Here.
Where?
Somewhere.